The coffee mug has finally been destroyed.

You know those times when you roll your eyes in scepticism as you listen to someone claim that something has happened because the universe is trying to send them a message? The universe has just sent me a message: Hey, what’s up Andrew? How are you enjoying the cooler weather of late? Did you see the latest cricket score? Been hiking around Cairns recently?

Based on a true story.

​It was the first day of autumn when Harriet found herself in the garden, crawling through pasty mud below an overcast Tasmanian sky. Having been born premature, Harriet was not the largest of babies by any means. In fact, Harriet was so tiny that upon finding a wormhole, Harriet was just small enough to crawl inside. Given that very few people are so diminutively proportioned, Harriet found herself thinking this a privilege that should not be taken for granted.

The joker and I have a lot in common. Aside from the fact that we are both clearly insane; we also have suffered comparably from troubled upbringings, as demonstrated by our similar facial disfigurations.​

Just in case you overslept, or if your invitation was lost in the wash, maybe you simply want to relive the moment. This is the speech I made on the occasion of my brother signing a document signifying the beginning of his life sentence.